Who's Out There?

By Amy Blanchard

My name is Amy Blanchard. I am a 31-year old woman living with spina bifida. I wear short leg braces and use a walking stick to help me with mobility. I currently live in Wilton, NH with my husband and 2 1/2 year old daughter.

I had a pretty typical childhood. Yes, I had more than my fair share of operations, but those were mostly performed during the summer so as to not keep me out of school for large chunks of time. If I ever did have to have a procedure done during the school year, my school(s) and classmates were always very accommodating and helpful. I had classmates begging me, in fact, to choose them as my helpers for the day to take me in the elevators and assist me in any way they could. In short, I had a very happy childhood experience. I never doubted that I could do anything I wanted. I knew my limits, of course, but I also knew I had an intelligent mind, creative nature, and a very loving and supportive family, all of which have helped me to achieve all that I have today.

My biggest issue with my s.b., I feel, is that, coupled with my quiet personality, I am a very shy person. I do loosen up once I get to know people, but I find it difficult to meet new people and make good friends. Because of this, I always wondered if I’d ever meet a man to fall in love with and whom I would want to marry. I didn’t date very much in high school or college and I’m not one to go out to clubs or whatnot, so I didn’t know how I’d find him.

Cut to my first day on the job at the company I still work for, some eight years ago. As my then boss took me around on a company tour, I met a lot of people – including the man I would later marry. I started work on a Tuesday; that Friday he invited me out to a company function in the evening. We’ve been together ever since. He’s a handsome, healthy, able-bodied man who loves me for who I am and what I can teach him about patience, determination and strength. I love him for believing in me, for helping me to accomplish my life’s goals, and just for being the intelligent, multi-faceted, artistic man that he is. We married on a beautiful, New England autumn day after a two and 1/2 year courtship.

We always knew we wanted children. We talked about what we would name our kids and what values we would like to instill in them as they grew. It wasn’t until we were married for a couple of years, though, that we seriously began the process of starting a family. We had a lot to think about – would I be able to handle the weight gain and bodily stresses of a pregnancy or would I have to use a wheelchair for the last trimester or so? Would I be able to detect labor and/or deliver vaginally or would I have to schedule a C-section? What was the probability of passing on s.b., or any disability, to our unborn child? What special lifestyle changes could I make to increase the chances of having a healthy pregnancy and baby? What medical tests should I have done and what medical specialists should I see to help me through a pregnancy? These and many other questions ran through both my own and my husband’s minds.

We started on our journey to parenthood by first trying to research all our questions and meeting with my OB/GYN, neurologist and chiropractor. The doctors gave us some information and their best medical opinions of what pregnancy and childrearing would be like for me, but none of them could tell us with any certainty how my body would react. They all encouraged us to go forward with our plans, though, and they promised to work with me to make sure my experience was as healthy, happy and normal as possible.

The research I did online and in bookstores, however, came up empty-handed. I just could not find anything of use that told me about the experience of being a pregnant woman with s.b. I found a ton of information about having children with spina bifida, but hardly anything at all about the parent having the disability. I did find a few web sites and on-line networks for disabled parents in general, but nothing at these sites seemed to fit me personally or give me any useful information for my specific case. This extreme lack of information frustrated both my husband and me very much and I personally vowed right then that I would change this in the future for women with spina bifida who wanted to become mothers.

Needless to say, my husband and I did go through with our plan to have a baby. My pregnancy went very smoothly and I was able to walk, as normal, the entire time. I kept up with my doctor appointments, tests and ultrasounds. It was at one of these ultrasounds that we found out that our baby girl had a beautiful, healthy spine – along with everything else. Labor and delivery were quick and relatively easy. I had wonderful doctors all along the way and supportive family and friends. And now, our healthy daughter is 2 1/2 years old, very active, very smart and very adorable. We couldn’t be happier.

About 2 months ago I started to make good on my promise to make a difference in the lives of other women with spina bifida who want to have children. I established a blog – an on-line journal, or web log - in which I recall my experiences with pregnancy, labor and delivery, and I record the daily experiences I have as a disabled mother raising a healthy, active toddler. I’m having a blast writing my story and I am thrilled to get the occasional email and/or comment from readers interested in what I have to say. I am not a medical professional, I only have my story to share. But if my one story can inspire the life of just one person with spina bifida to achieve her dreams of parenthood, then I have made a difference and done my part. I absolutely love being a mother and encourage anyone who wishes children into their lives to see that wish come true. You just have to look forward with both eyes open and be receptive to whatever the future holds for you.

You can visit my blog, called “Spina Bifida Moms” at spinabifidamoms.blogspot.com. I post a new entry every Sunday afternoon – more often if time permits and/or inspiration hits. Please don’t be shy about commenting or contacting me – I love to hear from my readers, encouraging and helping you in any way that I can. Thanks for reading… Please visit soon!